My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
