omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
