Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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