It was confusing and full of hummus
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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