we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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