I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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