my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
