fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
