Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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