Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
