I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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