Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
