We named our party play list daddy issues
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
