Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
