Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
