what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Randomize
