Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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