Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
