I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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