I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
