Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
my liver is dry heaving
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
