Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
