We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
