Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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