Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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