so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
