How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
