? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
