That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
