I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
