Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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