You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Someone shattered a urinal.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
