just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
