I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
