I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
