i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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