he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
