I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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