**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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