it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
