i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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