I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
