Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
