i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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