you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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