OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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