If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
