Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
