Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
