and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the condom got lost in my hair
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
