I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
