Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
