Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
